Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I actually pay taxes

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

In Italy, how do people greet each other when they meet for the first time (e.g., on the street)? What's a good response to that greeting if you're not from Italy or don't speak Italian fluently yet?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I see through liars

Founder of Cryptocurrency Payment Company Charged with Evading Sanctions and Export Controls, Defrauding Financial Institutions, and Violating the Bank Secrecy Act - Department of Justice (.gov)

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

On Which Part of the Body Might One Wear Winklepickers? - Slate Magazine

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Why is rap* a crime?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I can count

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

My boyfriend has been separated from his wife for 5 years. Why won't he divorce her? Should this be a deal breaker?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t buy bullshit

10 Habits that are Aging Your Gut, According to Experts - EatingWell

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Why are men obsessed with breasts and their size? I don't quite see women being obsessed with the penis - Why is this so?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

The Weekender: LSU Shreveport Baseball Has Perfect 59-0 Season, Cornell Wins Men's Lacrosse National Champions - Eleven Warriors

I can read

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Were you ever in love with your teacher?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Russia’s central bank cuts interest rates for first time since 2022 - Financial Times

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Jessica Alba sunbathes in tiny bikini while ‘channeling chill’ on wellness getaway - Page Six

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Hubble Trouble Solved? Webb Telescope Finally Cracks the Universe’s Growth Mystery - SciTechDaily

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t cotton to rapists

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”